The love i cant let myself have

You are some one spacial to me
but i am to easily angered with you to have you
my temper isn't something to mess with it
I've lost to many to count from it
and i don't want to hurt you
but not being with you hurts us both
are love is unable to be cause of me
i am the one thats says no
and oh how i wish it not to be so
but it is and so i must say no
to keep you from getting in harms way
is it right to so no if it makes you cry
i made the mistake of saying yes the second time
and just hurt you again
I'm sorry and its consuming me
but ill die before i hurt you again