First stanza?
Weird and cliched.
Sorry.
Third stanza?
It was really... sweet?
I don't know the word I'm looking for.
Lol.
I've never fallen in love before
Although I tried.
But I've got this big thing on independence.
So when I read this.
I actually felt bad for the girl.
She can't be independent.
I hope I'm judging your characters
And not you.
I would feel awfully bad.
But I would still stick to what I think and feel.
All in all.
It was pretty cliched
But then...
I'm fighter not a lover.
So, I'd still give you a 5/5 just because.
I loved your format.
Also, your spelling was great
:]

Awww....good repetition and great ending. It's a good piece. I'll have to check out more of your work!
Charisma*

The reption really made the poem excellent, the word choice was great, and the emtion was deep. You did an excellent job on this despite, the cliche part. (first staza)

Great write i thought it flowed well.. and repition was really good. i dont usually like repition. Your emotion was really deep and its something a lot of people can relate to.. very good. I like cliche so the first stanza was really good.. lol anway 5/5

This very original and creative format is very effective in reflecting an ergent need to be whole

The first stanza may be cliche in the eyes of others but I believe it fits perfectly. Theres nothing cliche about real life and the pain you feel of not having your other half with you. I know the pain and I know the reality, and theres nothing cliche about it. Great job 5/5

I don't think that the first stanza is cliche, actually I like it a lot. The whole poem is great, and you ended it excellently.
Choice of words is superb and it's very emotional and honestly written.
Third stanza is my favorite.
5/5