Dearest Heart: Part 1

by xPerfect Chaosx   May 24, 2007


Dearest Heart,

I would like to ask of you a favor. If it wouldn't be to much trouble, could you stop hurting so much?? Do you think it would be possible?? I have to ask, because the hole in you is making it hard to think. It's also making it hard to sleep at night. I was just wondering if you could fix yourself, or at least plug the hole?? I would really appreciate it. I know it will be hard, and I understand it's quite a big piece of you that is missing. But honestly, this hole is quite painful and very hard to hide. I know know how much longer I can keep this up. It's affecting the way my eyes see the world, and I would love it if you could stop the pain. It's the only favor I ask of you.

Thank You,
The Mind

OK, this is part one in a series of Poems I will be writing. If I can explain it a little, it will make better sense. The series of poems is going to be letters from the Mind(Head) to the Heart and the conflict of listening to one or the other. Thank you for reading it and I hope you enjoyed it.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by ~*SugarCube*~

    Great poem. I think it would be better if you put it into stanazs. but very well written!!!!!!!! 5/5

    ~Chelsea~

  • 16 years ago

    by Startle Me

    Could you stop hurting so much??
    That seemed a bit overused.
    Maybe not you necessarily.
    But I don't know, I guess I just don't like that part.
    Maybe you could reword it?

    Try to find another word for pain.
    I hear the word too much.
    Maybe not from you.
    But from... other people.

    It's affecting the way my eyes see the world
    I have to admit.
    That was a pretty darned good line :P

    All in all, it wasn't as amazing as I thought it would be.
    It was just... quite average.
    Then again,
    I realize that if should get the whole message,
    I'm going to have to read the whole thing.
    So... Mind if I do it later? I have to go.
    Peacez :]

  • 16 years ago

    by Debbie

    "If it wouldn't be [too] much trouble,"

    My apologies for being rather nit-picky there, it's just that the word 'to' caught my attention. :) In any case, I'll reiterate what the other ten reviewers have stated, you've got an interesting idea coming up which I find promising in the near future. Allegorically, the heart and the mind are synonymous with each other. But what's interesting to note in your poem is that it speaks of a battle between the intellect and the emotion[al]. Very nice work, I dare say. X) Debbie

  • 16 years ago

    by George

    Hah...I love this idea! Couldn't have come at a better time for me either...wonderful, emotional, cant wait to read the rest!

  • 16 years ago

    by Vanessa

    Diffrent, but diffrent is good. I really liked this point of veiw you have used and the word choice is amazing, the emtion was clear, and strong. I am on my way to read more, please don't stop here. 5/5