If I Was To

I think its really good but for this poem i think that you should not have out a repeatmof the 1st line because then it seems like your givingit like a flat ending instead of just letting the reader think about it and you know, leave them hanging. But i'm just saying that is what i think so...But seriously love it :]

I think its really good but for this poem i think that you should not have out a repeatmof the 1st line because then it seems like your givingit like a flat ending instead of just letting the reader think about it and you know, leave them hanging. But i'm just saying that is what i think so...But seriously love it :]

Hey i love the poem!! thanks for the comment.. ii never really liked writing poems.. until i was heartbroken.. which i thought never would have happened to me.. take care and keep in touch!

Hmm your pain is very evident here
and i can partially relate

but my favourite stanza is definately
"Do you think you would call
If you knew it all?"
because it is the deepest
with hidden meaning

and i know many who would agree
that a broken heart is a hard weight to bare

tops :]
thanks for the comment

I love the repetitiveness in this poem, it really gave it more meaning, portayed your thoughts just a little stronger, the hurt was evident. well done, you speak from the heart. and it shows, this poem was excellent.

5/5 David