First of all...great imagery...clear vivid desrciptions...lol..u painted the whole image in this poem...so clear n beautiful...n the flow was good too...n the choice of words was nice...but something was missing...but u've done a great job anyways..
all in all...nice work
Kp it up~
Oww! nice title..perfect telling of ur story and i like the way how u express ur feelings in here.. i think,, it has a great rhyming and flow..at the same time it nicely written. every word it has a very deep impact .. great one kabs!!5/5
That really good, the imagery was excellent, it left a clear picture in my mind, I could feel the bitting cold, the word choice was great, and the ending was perfect. the only thing that read a little off to me was
Nothing can stop me to live here for eternity
It might just be me but that line seemed to eiter be missing a word or not worded right, I am not sur witch one, but it is only a sugestion. great job 5/5
To begin with, I'm honestly glad that you *could write your own poems with your own ideas, I suppose. It's a nice change, Kabs. =]
Like everyone else, I've enjoyed the visuals and images you've created in this piece. Besides, it's quite an advantage on my part since I could clearly visualize this in my mind's eye, considering now that I live on the same land as you did before.
I, however, find its flow unnaturally attached. I have no issues with a forced line or whatsoever though. Now, if I may suggest, omitting those determiners, such as such as "a," "the," "this," "each," "some," "either," "my," and "your", will--in my humblest opinion--somehow enhance the consitency/flow of this poem.
Overall, a nicely penned work which reveals sombre emotions from its writer, wishing to return to his homeland soon.
p.s. This is merely a response to your request in the club's request area.
This was absolutely beautiful! I know exactly how you feel about your home. I lived there once too and now I live in a very cold country. The words you use in this poem are exquisite. This is my favorite poem of yours.
This my dear...is just perfect!
Flawless flow throughout, the imagery you used blew me away, it created very vivid pictures, and the word choice was a joy to read, as was the whole poem.
I liked how it started almost hopeful and then you transformed it into something so sad, truly beautiful work.
Sometimes we have dreams that just seem way to real to be anything else then reality, those dreams where you wake up and you have to think about where you are for a minute. The poem was great once again and the imagery was really good in this one I could picture everything. The flow was pretty good and overall the poem was great 5/5