GiViNG UP

by MomentOfTruth   May 27, 2007


The way you look down on me,
Like I'm transparent for a while.
I don't know what you're watching
But my tears are running free.

I'm desperately longing for your hands, to softly cross mine
In the dark I'm staring back at you
Wondering if your shoulder will always be there.

Trying to find something to hold on to,
Cause I'm falling into you.

But she's hiding her face,
The guilt is rolling down her cheeks.
The blame of ripping everything apart
Is crossing her broken heart.

Crawling into your arms, hoping they'll keep me together
Makes me realize I can't close my eyes; you won't be there.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Silently He walks

    I analyzed this piece and the only advice I can give to make it better would be to be careful of the point of view cause you speak from one point of view and jump to another. In poetry it does not really matter but I always like to try to keep one point of view the piece sound nice =P I enjoyed it overall I will continue to read your pieces, if I spot them. Be sure to criticize my work so I can perfect my writting as well =)

  • 16 years ago

    by Ike Dizzle

    Dang. That sucks. It's a great poem but the situation sucks. I'm sorry. 5/5
    -vino

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