CRYING..!?

Why am I crying? Why can't I stop? It feels like my hearts ripped right out & like I'm totally shattered. I can't stand it anymore. I can't seem to stop the bleeding inside. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to stop. I wanna drop to my knees & weep, but I can't, my hearts to weak, my minds to wrapped. I'm shaking, I'm broken.

It's got me. I'm trapped. I can't let it go. I can't let him go. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to feel. Why can't I just drop it? Why can't I just let all this go? My hearts pounding & I don't know if I want it to slow down. It's like I want to cry. Like I want to be heart broken. I don't want to let it go. It's part of me. I don't want to forget it. I don't want to let the memories go. But whats best? Whats the right thing to do? I know I have to let it go & that I have no other choice, but I can't, I don't wanna. My heart won't let me. It doesn't feel possible. I don't feel like I'm strong enough.

My hearts slowing down. My eyes are drying out. My thoughts are going by. I'm getting weaker. I'm feeling free. But still there's something inside threatening me. No wait, my hearts pounding again. There's tears running down my cheeks. My thoughts are drifting again. I can't let it go. It's inside of me. He's inside of me. I can't get it out. I can't get him out. He's on my mind. He controls my mind. He controls me!!

Why is this happening? Why has this happened? Why can't I just let it go? Why can't I just let go of it? Why is this so difficult? Why won't it go out of me? Why won't I let it go? Why do I feel complete with it? Why do I feel incomplete without it? Why won't I let myself, let him go?

I'm empty. I'm torn. I'm ripped apart. It did this. He did it. He threw me down. He let go of me, slowly, very slowly. He said he loved me, he said he cared. He promised me the world, but gave me the stars. He was the only one for me. The one that gave me reason to live. He captured my thoughts & stole my heart. He caressed my body & teased me up. But how did I let this happen? Why'd I get so attached? Why'd I fall in love? Why'd I fall in love with him? Why is it him that makes my heart skip a beat? Why does it feel like I can't go on without him?

Here I go again. This is where it starts. I wanna hold him. NO!! I have to let him go. I wanna love him. NO!! I have to stop it. Why is this so difficult? Why does this feel like the end? It's ending. It's ended! All I have to do is let go, but I don't know if I can. I don't know if I wanna... I'm confused... I'm lost... I'm empty...I'm crying...