Blissful Torture

by Romancing the Darker Side   May 28, 2007


The victim screams
And she cries out in pain
How could she have done
Something so vain?

The gun in her hands
Has never shaken more
Her victim collapses
And she runs through the door

Now ridded of
The one she hates
She expected to be happy
Instead of having this fate

Confused and lost
She feels so denied
She'll be going to jail
Because her enemy died

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Basically, a girl kills her number one enemy, then expects to be happy because she's dead, but she realizes she's going to go to jail and wind up just like the girl she shot.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by adelinaxx

    This is my favourite one
    really get the story and meaning

  • 16 years ago

    by Anaisthitos

    Very well done, good rhymes, it flows great. I actually wrote a poem a lot like this one. But yeah, not the point. I liked it a lot, it didn't show very much of how the girl was feeling, but it was good. 5/5

    Great job! =)

  • 16 years ago

    by IdTakeABulletForYou

    The one she hates - the one that she hates

    The poems lacks emotion. It is wonderfully penned, well-rhymed. It just is... bare. It's lacking the necessities it needs to strike the reader cold at the end of your poem with awe. Good story line, but make it more personal... make it so the reader can feel what the killer girl is feeling. The key to a poem is not just bringing the reader through the motions, but bringing the reader through the emotions.

    Still, well done m'dear =]

    5/5
    ~Stephen White

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