A Beautiful Lie

This poem is about two best friends falling in love. I wrote a poem before it called, "More then a love poem" If you read that first this one will make more sense. I know its pretty long, but please read it! I would really love some feedback...

I watched her leave, and go outside
She said she needed air
I shouldn't have told, not like this
To her it isn't fair

All the things we've been through
I had to tell her first
Hard for me to say those words
I know she'd hurt the worst

I found her sitting on the porch
Looking at the sky
She turned her head, and looked away
So I wouldn't see her cry

I told her it was someone else
When really it was me
Not ready to take the next step
Afraid she wouldn't see

When I sat down next to her
I still felt far away
So much left to explain
But not sure what to say

Shes always meant so much to me
I know her words were true
Why can't I just say them back?
Say I love you too

This isn't fair, she said real loud
This isn't fair at all
To hard to look her in the eye
She made me feel so small

Why didn't you just tell me this
Tell me from the start
Stop me from saying all those things
Stop me from baring my heart

I should have told you everything
Instead of trying to hide
But you can never understand
The way I feel inside

She shook her head in disbelief
And began to walk away
I begged her please don't leave me here
I need you to stay

She turned around and look at me
Confusion on her face
I can't just live without you
Our memories don't erase

I wrapped my arms around her
And held her for a while
I tried to remember the old times
I lived to make her smile

I dreamed of the old days
When everything made sense
Loosing myself in our thoughts
My last line of defense

The warmth of her body
Gently sheltered mine
Forgetting all my worries
Loosing track of time

Awoken from my thoughts
When she started to pull away
We stared at each other
Not sure what to say

She said, I found out what its like
To hurt so selfishly
I was hoping you'd be the one
To finally set me free

I don't know how to do this
I don't know how to deal
I don't know how to take this pain
And pretend it isn't real

I know her words were true
When she looked me in the eye
I could tell by her face
She fought the urge to cry

But I could no longer fight it
Tears were falling down my face
The wall I built around me
Vanished without a trace

I knew that if I told her
She would just hurt more
Not sure what to do
Inside I felt so tore

Patiently she waited
For me to finally speak
She gently used her hand
To wipe the tears off my cheek

Amazed by her beauty
And her gentle touch
Soon I began to realize
Why I loved this girl so much

Her love had over come me
And took the fear away
I was going to tell the truth
And knew exactly what to say

There is no else
I lied about before
I realize that I love you too
A feeling I can't ignore

Before you came over tonight
I needed to be alone
I made sure no one was near
I made sure no one was home

I needed time to think
Of how to end this strife
Tonight was the night
I planned to take my life

I'm so glad you finally told me
Exactly how you feel
I know that it is true
And know that it is real

She dropped to her knees
And cried on the ground
About to loose it all
This new love that we've found

I loved this girl so much
It hurt to see her cry
I wanted to catch every tear
That had fallen from her eye

You said in the beginning
I was just a friend
Always had each other back
Together till the end

And even if the end
Is closer then we thought
We finally found the true love
That we have always sought

You saved me from myself
When you walked through the door
You showed me that you cared
When you said you needed more

Promise you'll never leave me
and I will do the same
I will never bring you harm
I'll never bring you shame

But your promise must last forever
We'll never be apart
You must give me your word
And you must give me your heart

If you want this too
Take me by the hand
But if this has become to much
I will understand