Will I be who they want?

The pain in me is shattered
hiding from the calls
i want to talk to you so badly
but every time i do tears fall.

My life is torturing me
when will it all come down
when will god say its your time
to bring you from the worlds end.

The times I wish I were gone
from all my mighty falls
I want to be with him so badly
getting to know him once again.

Up above in those clouds
is where you stand watching from above,
I am trying to make you proud up there
but life has gotten to hard.

Shes not getting better
but would you be if you were here?
Drinking, smoking, sniffing drugs
is what she revolves her life around you see.

Trying to bring myself away
hoping thats what you want for me
when will mommy be dead?
please say not soon daddy.

Daddy you are up above
will mommy be joining you soon?
Trying to figure out where things go
will my life always be this low.

I've got the friends I need
but theres two people I dont have
the one that sits on the streets
spending her days and ending them high.

The other one is up above
been gone for many years
living my life without those two
is hard to live around.

I miss my mom and dad
but my mom has hurt me bad
my dad i lost so long ago
i try to make them glad.

Will they be glad of who I have become
not following down there path
will I become who they wanted
making something worth my life stay.