Am I selfish, not any more

Watching today through an hour glass, yesterday seems impossible to past, a stab in the heart, why God? thought i was your child, I wouldn't do that to my child, so why mines??? you simply took him away, snap of a finger, what about me??? or am I just being selfish, I know it must rain in order for me to grow but God isn't too much rain just as Bad, I have ran out of tears and my body is numb???? I ask you why and you stand there stubborn... Am I just being selfish... Paw Paw told me everything happens for a reason but this time I just cant put my hands on why??? Sometimes I spend around just to get dizzy take my mind of of the past but when I come back to earth pain still exist... Am I just being selfish... Do you really care??? No need to answer you have blessed me with what I DO have... my family and friends seem to out weigh the world, on accident they pick me up when I'm down and make me smile when I frown... God as I watch the world throughout my rear view I realize I can be and have been selfish... BUT I'm Blessed.... You love me and others need me just as much as I need you... I have to maintain this image as the leader, as if in representation of a spinal cord... I no longer pray for strength or direction but the wisdom to use the strength that I already have and follow the direction that you have drawn for me before my birth. I used to question when is change going to come, but it has already came. I feel it... God take away my pain and selfishness of a lost one, their with you in a better place than this cold world... Their angels in which I need more of... Thank you God for you are my savior and I will never be selfish again. I'm blessed. Wipe away my tears allow me to only cry tears of joy...

Amen