Comments : Take Advantage of Me.

  • 12 years ago

    by Teesh

    This was a very great poem good job it was good to read keep up the work 5/5

    TeeshxXx...

  • 12 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    I really liked this poem...Very deep...5/5...Keep writting..

  • 12 years ago

    by That One Girl

    Wow....im speechless..... you are very very good! keep it up! 5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by my name is Llama

    If this is true i hope one day you do have the courage to do something. no one deserves to go through this...absolutly no one.
    great write
    xoxo

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    This poem was truely beautifully sad, It touched my heart any not many poems actually are able to do that to me. Im shocked myself. You went into great depth with this. I found it to be quite an amazing emotional read.~mel

  • 12 years ago

    by Cassandra

    Great poem.

    Im having trouble understanding the last bit:

    I'm becoming numb,
    Your the reason I can't left go.
    If I do I'll feel these things you have done to me.
    The things you still do.
    The things no one understands.
    She said be the survivor not the victim
    I'm not the survivor nor the victim,
    I'm just a blur of nothingness
    fading, and in the blink of an eye
    I'll just be a memory.

    i would re-write it this way:

    "Its the reason i've become numb:
    the things you do, the things no-one can comprehend
    My goal was to become the survivor, not stay the victim.
    but i am neither the survivor nor the victim
    i am quickly fading into a blur of nothingness
    and in a blink of an eye
    I'll just be a memory."

    its just a suggestion. but it has a great story abd message behind it.

  • 12 years ago

    by Viola

    Hey..i do love the poem..very deep and emotional. it's a great write.
    this line however:
    <It's a world you fight for yourself.>
    i think need to be changed for gramatic reasons..to something like: In this world you fight for yourself

    And, yes, the ending is a bit hard to follow.

    I'm becoming numb,
    Your the reason I can't left go. [LET instead of LEFT]]
    If I do I'll feel these things you have done to me. [this line also i think need to be changed..maybe something like: Or if i do I'll feel everything you've done to me]
    The things you still do.
    The things no one understands.
    She said be the survivor not the victim [i love this line =)]
    I'm not the survivor nor the victim,
    I'm just a blur of nothingness
    fading, and in the blink of an eye [for these three lines i like the suggestion above: But i am neither the survivor, nor the victim
    I am quickly fading into a blur of nothingness
    and in a blink of an eye
    I'll just be a memory. [i like this better as: I'll be just a memory.]

    alright so just make a few changes so it fllows better. but otherwise the poem is incredible..i love the message it has. great job! =)

  • 12 years ago

    by Rose not your average

    That was amazing def 5/5
    nobody deserves this!

  • 12 years ago

    by Debbie

    You've written, yet again, a huge emotional rant. Nicely written, nevertheless. Most of my points were already covered by the reviewers above me; so I won't bother repeating them. :) I hope everything will work out for you sooner or later. All the best and take care!

  • 12 years ago

    by nikki

    I liked it. it was very deep yet some of it was venting. i give you a def 5 amazingly written and thought of piece.

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