Wonderfully written poem, I'm going to add it on my favorite poems list. It's really deep with a lot of emotions... I just like everything about it.
Again, truly great. 5/5

Wonderful. 'take joy in their screams' that is an awesome line. Really.....in your face in a way. The rhyme was perfect. The style is usually hard to pull of but you did it perfectly. 5/5 and an add to my favorites. Chat soon!

~Tara

Very good write very expressive good job!!

5/5 laura
yay another person from tx

This was a great poem written so greatly but its so sad...
you have done a great job writing ur feelings down. keep it up
a 5/5 from me as you really deserve it.

Very very gooooood :):):)

iloved it:):):) well done great poem and you are a great writer:):):)

keep it up:):):)

khuloodan:)
smile all the time:)

Superb imagery, I really enjoyed it.
-insanity, yes maybe that's what i was meant to become,
no, for i am nothing and i run,
faster than anything else that is dead.- these are my favorite lines.

Perhaps all we do here is suffer......Good poem.

"my punishment for tears,
i was given my fears,
they've killed me too soon to forget.
happiness wasn't my dream anyway,
i just wanted to never be sad in the day,
my wish never came true but your's can.
so i wave you goodbye,
remember to never cry,
or you'll end up as nothing, i am. "

this is a great poem full of emotion for ppl to feel its amazing 5/5

This is a fantastic piece of poetic material, along with its slightly plaintive atmosphere throughout and poignant way of weaving words. I'm enchanted by this dark piece of work by you. =] Nicely done.

Wonderfully writtten poem

it was pretty long

but i still liked it

""my punishment for tears,
i was given my fears,
they've killed me too soon to forget.
happiness wasn't my dream anyway,
i just wanted to never be sad in the day,
my wish never came true but your's can.
so i wave you goodbye,
remember to never cry,
or you'll end up as nothing, i am. "

this is the best part ^^

keep up the good work

5/5

well deserved

Wow, that was so full of meaning that I was surrounded by each word you wrote. If you changed around the `periods and commas, I think that this poem would flow more though. The last stanza:

my punishment for tears,
i was given my fears,
they've killed me too soon to forget.
happiness wasn't my dream anyway,
i just wanted to never be sad in the day,
my wish never came true but your's can.
so i wave you goodbye,
remember to never cry,
or you'll end up as nothing, i am.

Is my favorite part. The ending really complemented everything else. Keep it up, 5 out of 5

Hari

I read your poem and found it quite interesting. Nice words and good flow kept my attention. I look forward to reading more of your works to see what appears when they are turned over.

Yeah that was oozing with emotion, there were many parts I liked in this. As always I have some suggestions so I'm going to break it down, stanza by stanza.

Stanza 1 - On the second line it sounds odd and it isn't completely clear when reading what you're "standing apart" from.
On the fourth line the egg idea was fantastic; pure originality.

Second stanza - on the third line it's rather obvious your eyes will be blinded, so maybe " blinded me" would sound better.
I'm not sure if you need the line "though laughter is happy." Going on the less is more theory I think the previous line says enough.
"Nothing always goes back to nothing" I loved this line, it really made me think!

Third stanza - Similar to the issue in the second stanza, I'm not sure you need "for I am dead" on the fourth line, it's too repetitive.
The lines "nothing but a wolf's lonely cry,
the whisper of longing in the bird's will to fly." What a fantastic couplet - that really impressed me!

Fourth stanza - Loved the use of "penance." I think the lines "a monster was all that i had of a soul,
now it is completed, i'm finally whole" could be worded better. They seemed very "bla" and I know you can do better.

Fifth stanza - Not much to say about this, but I did like the first two lines.

Sixth stanza - the line "they've killed me too soon to forget" didn't make sense to me...Too soon to forget what/who? This isn't clear. On the sixth line it should be "yours."
I liked the ending, simple yet effective.

With the whole poem in mind I just want to suggest keeping punctuation in mind, for example using capital letters after periods (full stops) etc.

Ok hope my feedback has been some help.
Take care.

"so beautiful is this broken silence,
that i have become, my penance,
for the sins i never were.
so young to say goodbye forever,
yet i will never speak of love again, never,
look at what i have become.
a monster was all that i had of a soul,
now it is completed, i'm finally whole,
the coldness is just part of the deal."
^ LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! I GIVE YOU! THE PERFECT STANZA!
Loved the way not everything rhymed, it helped the flow so much! 5/5!

That was long xD But it was worth it, I like the imagery you created in this poem, flow was smooth and you have a great vocab! :)

i cannot see in the dark, though maybe,
i've just forgotten why i needed to see
^^Those two lines are powerful.

5/5! keep up the good work! :D

"insanity, yes maybe that's what i was meant to become,
no, for i am nothing and i run,
faster than anything else that is dead.
for i am dead, nothing more powerful than no heart,
if you think i have ended this is just the start,
even though i still cry at night.
nothing but a wolf's lonely cry,
the whisper of longing in the bird's will to fly,
invisible for once in my life."

that was my favorite part of the poem..wow i know talent when i see it and you definately have it...great poem.

~michelle~

Wow. the image that this poem creates with your words, again is absolutely amazing. i love the way you write you poems, the flow was great the structure was good and over all, i just loved it. 5/5

This is truly greatly written poem.
you have done this so greatly, keep it up dear.

Oh wow.

I L-O-V-E your poem. Honestly
'-'

This was jaw dropping.
The flow was amazing, the emotion's and words deep. You really created a stunning effect on the reader.

I really enjoyd this.
--Elly.