This poem is so good and the words are very true, the flow was great and the word choice as well. We're all similar in many ways because we feel the same pain and show similar emotion, we just don't realize how close we really are. amazing job as always 5/5 GG23
So first of all, I'd like to say, great job!! Great job writing on a topic that happens so often....Best friends that grow up together and then start to change and part ways....You described very well how bad that kind of situation is.
To her face you're the best of friends
But when she turns, the friendship ends.
^^^^^ I like this stanza a lot, but I think it may have made more of an impact on the reader if it were somewhere in the middle "But when she turns" Turns where? I understand you mean "changes," but it isn't very clear. Since it sort of sounds like your showing change over time here, it might have made more of a window into your feelings....if you described the relationship a little when it was still good...before they changed.
The music she likes, is not for you
The clothes she wears are over due.
^^^^^^ Again good description of change.
Where she lives is not your place
To be seen with her is a disgrace.
^^^ You might want to try adding a comma in after "Place" it looks a little neater.
The car she drives is out of date
To the way she lives, you can' t relate.
^^^^Oh very nice work on this stanza....
When she' s alone she is depressed
But you would not have ever guessed.
^^^^I like this line a lot too, it's so natural sounding that it's almost as if we're reading a letter you sent to your friend.
But have you ever spent the time
Just to make sure she' s doing fine ?
^^^ Again very natural and powerful.
You think you know but you' re so far
You' ll never know what her problems are.
^^^^Here you do a very nice job of explaining the problems with judging people without truly getting to know the person.... a crime that a lot of us commit. What makes this stanza so powerful for the reader is that it makes us realize that sometimes we all just need to step back, and re-look at the person we gave up on.
But you don' t care ' cause they' re not yours
The truth comes out behind closed doors.
^^^Not sure what you mean by the last line In this stanza, it seemed a little forced
You insult what you don' t understand
So closed - minded, you' ll never expand.
^^^This is by far my favorite line in your poem...It flowed very nicely.
You' re insecure with your own self
Your solution' s to put down everyone else.
^^^^For some reason the word "solution" doesn't seem to fit in the stanza... I like the stanza, but "solution" seems to be messing up the beat of the poem.
But you, yourself, what makes you great ?
In just some way, you can relate.
^^^ I understand that your trying to rhyme, but I'm not sure if relate is the word your looking for. But I like the first line in this stanza, very saucy!
Because we' re the same in many ways
And you' ll realize it one of these days.
^^^Ohhhh Bravo! That was a perfect ending!...I was hoping you didn't end this in one of those cliche. "I'm never going to stop crying about this, I might as well go jump off a bridge," kind of endings! But no, you ended it strong and sassy! I liked your poem a lot, it's one that most can relate too, and it's not cliche at all. Amazzzing job =]