Take Off Your Cool

by dollwithafrown   Jul 20, 2007


You've always had a touch of vanity,
The coolest kid of all humanity.
In your opinion, you're an all time star,
Yet the truth could not be more afar.

Obsessed with looks twenty-four seven;
Just being yourself is your idea of Heaven.
But boy, I've got some hard home-truths:
You're nothing more than the average youth.

My heart and soul; you are my world,
Yet our relationship has become a tad twirled.
What happened to the boy that I once knew?
The one who said "Beauty is inside of you."

Take off your cool, I don't want all that,
Stop treating me like a horrid doormat.
Hold me in your arms, we can lay beneath the sky,
Forget your looks and just be my guy.

-----
This isn't exactly new. I thought I had posted it ages ago, but I guess I hadn't. Oh well...

    report violation
0


Did You Like This Poem?

Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by HOLLYWOODxBANGBANG

    Aweh, I`m glad you did post this. This is great, really sums about half the male population whose brains are in their hair and biceps, love it.

    5.5
    :]

  • 16 years ago

    by twisted reality

    Awww it's sad and cute and emotional all at the same time ^_^ It reminds me of those best friend relationships that get into boyfriend-girlfriend relationships and then are ruined. -sigh- Ah well.

    The flow was perfect! I loved every word pieced together. And the vocabulary was great. It went well with the kind of poem you wanted to portray. Very well done. =) 5/5 xoxo

    Samantha

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    Well, I'm glad you posted it.
    It's quite amazing, dear.
    I mean, I absolutely love it.
    The flow was amazing, the rhyme was greattt, and the poem was oustanding.
    No critque whatsoever on this, I absolutely love it. :]

    I wish I could give you more than a five, eh.
    Keep it up.

  • 16 years ago

    by TwiztidJuggalette

    I liked it...It was deep...And written so beautifully....The vocab was just right and the flow was flawless through out the whole thing...

    The ending was right to the point...

    This poem had a great story behind it...Enjoyable read..

    Overall Rating- 5/5 =)

  • 16 years ago

    by Stephanie Naylor

    Well i thoguht it was very good
    i loved the general idea
    and the rhyming was pretty good
    but in a place or two it seemed a little
    forced

    but it was still good
    and had a nice flow

    "My heart and soul; you are my world,
    Yet our relationship has become a tad twirled.
    What happened to the boy that I once knew?
    The one who said "Beauty is inside of you."

    Favorite stanza ^^

    5/5

Read All Comments (5)

More Poems By dollwithafrown