God Please

God please read this I write to you to tell you all the things I been through...

I cut myself sadly in the middle of the night, thinking of all the things I couldnt do right.

Friends thought I was crazy that I lived a good life but its that they didnt know what I hid with a knife.

My feelings of sadness worries and fears my feelings of darkness and each and every tear.

I thought that tomorrow might be the last that I live I had nothing to offer nothing left to give.

I had a good plan or so that I thought I wanted to die deaths what I sought.

I woke up this morning I love you was heard tears tried to fall my vision blurred.

Goodbye to my younger brother as he waved my way but he didnt know that I wanted this day to be my last.

I hid in my bedroom closet took out the knife the one that would shortly take away my life.

I thought I had something to do I can not sit here and wait for something to get better its already too late.

please dont think I am a coward I whispered out loud I wanted my mum to know I tried making her proud.

I backed out of the little room and shut the door I want to slit my wrist very deeply and fall to the floor.

I put the blade up to my wrist praying to have the courage to give it a twist.

I breathed out loudly and slowly and started to press down but decided my own fate and thrown the knife to the ground.

This isnt what I really want to do I just want to be heard to have someone listen who doesnt think I am absurd.

I ran to my mother I told her my fears she didnâ??t want to know so she turned me away.

I started to cry softly wiping my own tears.

All I wanted her to say was I know what you went wrong you didnt talk to anyone but you still held on strong.

But there is someone saying im going to take you to get something you deserve the help you wanted but I really never had the nerve.

She soothed me softly until I felt good until I felt and safe.

So thank you god for having her save my life and I am glad that I decided to throw away that knife.