What do you do?

What do you do when you hate your life
you hate yourself for living
& you hate the docters even more for not letting you die

for pumpin the pils out of your stomach
for telling you how stupid it was of you
for yelling you could have died
and for lecturing about how many people love you

but if that is true
then why arent they here
why did they leave right after fillin out the paprer work

& why are the only visitors I have the nurse and phsyciatrist
and when thier gone all i do is lay here

staring at nothin
thinking of everything

& just wishing to die
hoping
hoping they didnt get it all out
hoping its working through your system rite now

& maybe
just maybe

Youll close your eyes
& just drift away
letting death take you once and for all
& never having to come back to this
cruel
harsh
place called life