Untitled

I SiT HERE THiNKiN iM BETTER THEN HER.
MAYBE iF i WAS PRETTiER OR SMARTER
HE WOULDNT STiLL LOVE HER.
i TOLD MYSELF i DiDNT NEED TO DEAL WiTH THAT
AND THAT i DONT NEED A MAN TO MAKE ME HAPPY
THEN WHY DO i FEEL LiKE i GOT DROPPED ON FACE... FLAT??
i LiSTEN TO SAD SONGS THiNKiN iF i iGNORE MY LiFE
i WiLL JUST DiSSAPEAR AND NO ONE WiLL NOTiCE
BUT i FORGET THAT BECAUSE i KNO i'LL MAKE A GOOD WiFE.
i TOLD MYSELF THAT i WAS BETTER THEN HiM
AND NOW iM GLAD HES GONE BECAUSE
i CAN SAY HE CAN NEVER REALLY WiN.
i WAS BLEEDiNG iNSiDE AND OUT
HE WOULD HiT ME AND i WOULD JUST CRY
HE TOLD ME HE WOULD KiLL ME iF i TRiED TO SREAM OR SHOUT.
THiS WENT ON FOR A LiTTLE OVER A YEAR
i WOULD LOOK AT MYSELF iN THE MiRROR
AND TELL MYSELF.. i DONT LOVE HiM.. SO WHY AM i HERE?
i FiNALLY TOLD HiM THAT i WAS LEAVEiNG AND NOT COMiNG BACK
WHEN HE ASKED ME WHY i TOLD HiM WHAT i THOUGHT.
SO i MOVED iNTO SOMETHiNG THAT LOOKED LiKE A BEAT UP SHACK..
i WAS THERE FOR ABOUT A WEEK
THEN HE CAME TO MY ROOM AND WAS WATCHiNG ME SLEEP
HE SAiD HE WANTED ME BACk, BUT i TOLD HiM i CANT HANDLE BEiNG BEAT
HE SAiD HE WOULD DO BETTER AND HE WOULD BE BETTER
i REMEMBER THE GOOD DAYS.. THEY WERE GREAT N i MiSS THEM
THERE WERE SOMEDAYS WHEN WE WOULD JUS SiT AND TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER.
THEN ONE DAY HiS WiFE STEPPED iN ALL OF A SUDDEN
WE ARE KiSSiN ON THE LiViNG ROOM FLOOR
SHE LOOKS AT ME AND iS FULL OF FRUSTRATiON.
i TOLD MYSELF THiS WAS ENOUGH.. i HAVE TO FORGET
i SAiD THAT i CANT BE WiTH HiM ANYMORE
OR DO SOMETHiNG THAT i KNOW i WOULD REGRET.
SOMEHOW i KNEW THAT i WOULD WiN THAT FiGHT
i WOKE UP... iT WAS ONLY A MEMORiE...
i STOOD UP AND SOMEHOW i KNEW.. EVERYTHiNG WOULD BE ALRiGHT
THAT WAS MY PAST.
AND FOR SOME REASON
i KNEW iT WOULDNT LAST.
i STiLL HAVE INTENCE DREAMS ABOUT HiM AND i WONDER WHO HES BECOME
WHY DiD iT HAVE TO BE ME?? WHAT DiD i DO?
BUT i NEVER THiNK ABOUT iT UNTiL i HEAR A STiLL DRUM
PLAYiNG iN THE MiDNiGHT SKY..
SOMEDAYS i WOULD SiT OUTSiDE LOOK UP
AND iM NOT SCARED TO ASK WHY.
i KNOW i'VE MADE A MiSTAKE..
BUT SOMETiMES... FALLiN iN LOVE WiTH SOMEONE WHOS COMPLETELY RONG
iS A RiSK U HAVE TO BE WiLLiN TO TAKE.
i AM 17 iM STiLL A LONER.
BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THERE iSNT SOMEONE OUT THERE FOR ME.