Memoirs Of A Suicide

3 AM,
can't sleep
replaying Evey detail,
from the memories that I keep

wondering,
what would it be like?
if things we're different
if i was someone else tonight

worrying,
about problems now,
how will I solve them?
will things be better someday, somehow?

reminiscing,
on a painful past,
what could i have done then,
so I wouldn't be a social outcast.

Dreaming,
of what I wish was true
If I had a life
If I we're friends with all of you

contemplating,
ending it all,
but still my conscience makes me stop,
with it's annoying call

Tossing,
turning,
tear stains on my pillow,
my heart is yearning.

I scream, I wail,
to the dead of the night,
me reality is slipping
I'm holding on tight

Silence,
silence is all that replies
I wonder if this is how someone feels
before they commit suicide.

7 AM
I've been at this for too long
just pull the trigger
say so long

8 AM
I have died
so now you know what a person feels
before they commit suicide