Assassin

by Vincent Thornsberry   Jul 28, 2007


Pain, anguish, lies and deceit,
with those four words I can spell your defeat.
Come look deeply into my eyes.
What do you see there? Do you see your demise?
No, of course not, for I am your friend,
sworn to defend you through to the end

Watch your back carefully,
for your brothers wish to see your end.
They will betray you in the most awful way,
so please listen to what I have to say.
They wish to trick you into believing,
so they can take you when it is most pleasing.
Watch them carefully, pay no attention to me,
for I am your friend,
sworn to defend you unto the end.

Gasp!
The blade slips between your ribs.
I told you, pain, anguish, lies and deceit,
those four words will spell your defeat.
For while you were watching them
you took your eyes off me

@ Vincent Thornsberry 2008

This is my feeble attempt at a third poem. I am aware that it doesn't quite flow right. At the present I am unsure how to fix it. All suggestions welcome.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by 4 track demo

    Dont underestimate yourself, i thought it flowed just fine, and the content was pretty damn cool, i enjoyed it, and was happy that you commented on one of mine, otherwise i would never of had the privledge to read it, very well done...
    john

  • 16 years ago

    by Michelle18

    This poem is good...and very intense...the flow is good near the beginning but toward the end it got kinda shakey...but overall i say its a pretty good poem.i still give you a 5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by FallenGrace

    I liked how you portrayed the story, reminded me of shakespear's Julius Ceaser...
    i think its well written, until the last stanza, which ends quite abruptly.
    otherwise great poem =]
    xxx

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