WONDER

As she sits there I gazed in wonder
Are we meant to be
Sooner or later we will see
She was looking back at me with those beautiful hazel eyes
Almost hypnotizing
It makes me suicidal
I cannot speak
Her long brown hair flows over her face
Like the sea it waves in the wind
Like an angel sent from heaven she speaks all the right words
Her lips move in a steady pattern
Not missing a beat she tells me "I love you"
Looking deeply into her eyes I am almost mute
I manage to dig the words out of my mouth
I respond "I love you too"
She crosses her legs
Her arms are on the table
Her hands holding mine
Her fingers move as we talk to each other
My heart fills with love as she looks back into my eyes
Like she is trying to look into my soul
Her eyes glisten in the light
She asks me if I am ok
I lie and say I am fine
She will never know what I am thinking
She doesn't know when I come home my wrists will relieve my pain
I love her but I am afraid
Afraid I will loose her after what we have been through
She is so beautiful
She is perfect in every way
And I don't deserve her
I love her with all my heart
But I don't know if she feels the same
I don't deserve to live without her in my life
So I may live no more