Wow this is amazing the words everything had so much meaning. i can relate and this was a great song i loved it! 5/5

laura

I really appreciate the thought and the lyrical ability that is potrayed in this poem. it is so true .. so many people live secret lives of misery in a world full of plastic smiles.. kudos for an enjoyable read...:)

That was amazing def 5/5. its cool hwo you wrote a song! it showed a lot of emotiong and had a nice flow, you used excellent word choice!

This was beautiful.
I think it would work as either a poem or lyrics. Either way it's amazing.
Your flow was flawless.
Great job!
5/5
XxAmberxX

Again, the words you used are just great,. the vocab you have is amazing. i loved everything about it but my most fave was the chorus 5/5

She smeared her face with lipgloss and black -
You should've caught her eyes and watched her back.
Memories were playing like a film without sound -
Now she has fallen, for the last time, to the ground.

Wow..a truly amazing write...i love the overall rhyming scheme you stuck with, and the structuring is flawless...great work!!!~

Wow so great you have written the poem/lyrics very well with very appropriate word choice and with strong meanings. 5/5 all the way

tc
Fsams

If it counts for me to say, this was first in the contest. I just don`t place until round four, then the winners are revealed from all the rounds of the contests. But, you just got a teensy sneak-peak. Shhh. Lmao. I absolutely loved this, I could hear it being sung and played on guitar [acoustic version, of course.] Lol, great job Dear. Heartchuu.

5.5
<3

''Pile on the heartache, with a sprinkle of deceit;''

^My favourite line, it is just so powerful.

I was going to copy my other favourite parts, and then realized I'd be copying the whole song.

I love this, this is amazing.
The imagery you portrayed in this is amazing, flow is flawless throughout the entire piece and word choice and rhyming are enjoyable...I love it love it love it!

Omg i <3 this! good job 5/5

What an amazing write it has such emotion init and feelings it was deffenly the best thing i have ever read keep it up 5/5 :]

*~*bee*~*

BEAUTIFUL;;
definitly, a favorite.

This poem is greatly written. It really deserves 5/5. Topic is excellent and atmosphere that you created is simply amazing. It really deserves 5/5

I love it =) If you ever record this I would love to listen to it! =) I think it was a really great poem/song. Keep up the good work.

Amazing song. I absolutly loved your word choice and this song is filled with so much emotion. I can definitly imagine this being sung. ((Hint hint :P)) 5/5

"Pile on the heartache, with a sprinkle of deceit;"
^^^^ A very powerful line.

-Shannon <3

This is a great song...i love the word choice and it flowed beautifully......i dont know if i could see this as a song though..it sounds more like a poem to me...but maybe thats just me...i wish i could hear the music... but i still give you a 5/5

although theres one thing that needs fixed.

"As the bury her with tears in her grave."

^^the needs to be changed to they...but thats just a little mistake...still 5/5