My Reply to the Suicide Note You Never Left

You took your life
on the date of
march 6th 2006
without telling your own daughter she was loved.

I remember the day well
it was a Monday
cold and gray
in every way.

I lied in bed all day
not wanting to do a thing.
I didn' t even know yet
that you were going to be given your wings.

Watching an old home video
the ringing of my phone is what was heard.
It was your brother wanting to talk to my mother
which was sort of absurd.

At first we thought
papa had passed.
We new it was something bad
but your suicide was on our mind last.

Mom broke in to tears
and sent us to my room.
Our house quickly filled
with gloom.

The wake was hard to go through
but the church service was even tougher.
It was then that I realized
how much our family could suffer.

Uncle Sean was given the honor to write your obituary
and he wrote it in the most amazing way.
He spoke of your life, the good and the bad,
He spoke of how you suffered day after day.

I cried when the priest
spoke of Alice in Wonderland.
For what he said about the cat
was something I now can understand.

These words replay in my mind
and I can translate them on my own.
They attach to my memory
and to my mouth they are sewn.

Changes to life happen to everyone
wether the change is sad and lonely
or good in every way
I just have to remember that I am not the only.

My love for you may be broken
but the love is still there.
Death may have taken you
but your life I still bare.

A suicide letter was never left
but I know what you would of wrote
' ' Jenna Bean my dancing machine.. I love you. ' '
and that I quote.

Copyrighted JENNAY 8.4.07

i ;; ve never been able to finish this.. until tonight. && i dont know how i did it or why i was able to...but i was. && i thank god. because i was given a chance of a lifetime.