If it meant

by Jennycartoke   Aug 9, 2007


Aren't things not always perfect?
Aren't things not always fair?
Well, I'd wait there in line forever
If it meant the rest of our lives we'd share

Some things don't always go right
Some things aren't always what we expect
Well, I'd stand in the rain forever,
If it meant to be with someone so perfect

Aren't some days not always good?
Aren't some days not always the best?
Well, I'd do anything you wanted me to
If it meant you'd stay impressed

Sometimes there may be fights
Sometimes we just might not get along,
We'll, I'd walk across glass in my bare feet
If it meant our relationship would stay strong

I'd write you everything I could think of
I'd walk until I can't walk anymore,
I'd do the worlds best or worst crimes
If it meant it was you I was doing it for

I'd beat down any girl who tried to get in the way
I'd beat down all the guys too
I'd do anything to keep you close
If it meant my life would consist of just us two.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by LovelyDivine

    This was great.
    I really love this one.
    I'm adding you to my favorites.
    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennycartoke

    Haha Okay.
    Done.
    Now you can read it with perfection.
    Thanks, a lot, Jaime. :)

  • 16 years ago

    by Jaime

    Amazing! :)

    Just take off the words 'for you' after the crimes part (to avoid being redundant) and it'll be absolutely perfect!

  • 16 years ago

    by Jennycartoke

    Thanks, Jaime.
    It means a lot, you looked that much into my poem, and gave me such great, suggestions. I see what you mean, I fixed those 2 lines, I hope they're more clear now. Take a look and tell me what you think?
    Check out some of my other poems, and tell me what you think.
    Thanks..
    Jenny

  • 16 years ago

    by Jaime

    I liked reading this poem. It was a rather simple idea, but you made it quite interesting to follow. Your rhyming was not forced at all, and it didn't throw off the flow. Which is good.

    The only suggestions I would have is to make the following line a little clearer:

    "I'd do the world best or worse"

    Just because it's hard to tell exactly what you are trying to say here. I'm not sure what you mean by it exactly, but it probably could be easily made a little clearer.

    The other thing is that you might want to specify at this part -"in my feet"- that you mean bare feet. It's probably not necessary, but it's just a thought because it sounds a little awkward that way.

    Nice job with your poem, I really think it's good. :)

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