Changing Kills

I just don't understand
why we all end up changing
cant we just stay the same
it only causes confusion and aching
I look back at my past
and i see i happy little girl
innocent and sweet
chasing a cute little squirrel
she wouldn't trade her life for anything
she loved it way too much
her family loved her to death
and they cherished her gentle touch
but that little girl just ain't the same
she paints her nails black and cries all the time
she hates her life and wishes she were dead
she's never felt this depressed in her whole lifetime
her family stopped showing they cared
she feels abandoned and all alone
she's scared and confused
she just wants a place to call home
thoughts of suicide occupy her mind
she doesn't tell anyone what she's been thinking
she doesn't wanna sound crazy
she's so tired of her stupid heart aching
she needs someone to be there for her
she just needs a friend
one that can keep her happy
one thats there till the end
why doesn't anyone like her?
why cant they all see?
that deep down inside of her
theres a girl whose soul is friendly
she's so different
but she just wants to be the same
why isn't she good enough for them?
is she really to blame?
every night before she goes to sleep
she prays to never wake up
every morning before she goes to school
she hides her tears behind her makeup
god only knows how badly shes hurt
why wont he help her?
who does he kill her this way?
why is her life filled with such torture?
she has so many questions
but not a single answer
everybody stares at her
each day there words get harsher
she's trapped in this hell
with no where to go
theres no escaping the pain
her world is one heck of a deathblow
she feels so lost
she's going insane
she doesn't wanna live this way
the blood on her shirt is more than a stain
she just wants to be loved
she's afraid it'll never be the same
she cant handle it
she just cant take the pain
she knows there's a way out
so she picks up that gun
she knows theres no other way
with one pull of the trigger and she'll be done
does this really have to end this way?
she's filled with hate and shame
she pulls the trigger and falls
another body left to be claimed