Satirical Suicide Note~

To loyal shareholders; and whomever else wishes to be concerned.

My life simply no longer a viable business operation and has therefore regrettably been shut down due to a stressful working environment, no sense of team morale among the workers; as well as a general loss of interest from management.

The economy is in a depression and the price and value of our shares has plummeted in the last year. There is a shortage of supply and the company has been struggling to keep up with the constant increase in demand within the market.

The corporation sincerely thanks her investors for their support....