Lost love

I tried so hard to control my mind to remain tautly support the walls that innocents inside but no desire to entrain my self I hate to love but love to hate
What did I do to deserve these things from you??
I just pick in silence I just pick in no sound
I dont have any desire except killing all the mercy in my heart
Cause in this life nobody deserve these things
Every one I do scarifies for he donâ??t even affords what I do
Every one pretend that he is the best friend for me and he will be right beside me when I need him
Anything happen to me and I need help from them
If they found that something bad would touch there ass the would not come to help me they wouldnâ??t even call me to see if am good
I want to be remembered as the guy who always smiles even when his heart is broken
I was a legend in my time and ill stay like this all the time