Midnight Bruises

by Mo   Aug 28, 2007


Sunlight streaks of warmth and marrow
Falls upon her deathly sorrow
Suffering muted by a shadow
Living off the time she'll borrow

Hands and fists they leave impressions
Based upon his wild aggression
Ragged tooth taught her a lesson
Mimicking brutal transgression

Swollen face of bloody paint
Eyes that search - shackled restraint
Trembling hands with veins acquaint
Forgive this man oh patron saint

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Abu3li

    Wow ... nice poem.... kept me reading from the start to end with the same enthusiasm and interest

    thanx for sharing it

  • 16 years ago

    by sibyllene

    Oo, nice write here, Mo. Rhymes with such strict meter and rhyme aren't generally my favorite, because there are so many crappy ones, but this one was intelligent and well-done.

    I liked that the poem started off the first line sounding really kind of serene and warm, with the sunlight and all, but it steadily got more intense and sharp as the poem went on. The culminating line is intriguing, as well. I still can't tell if it's sincere, or meant to be ironic. Which makes it interesting, mm?

    All in all, I liked this poem. The rhyming did work for me, as long as you are using words that make sense, instead of just ones that rhyme. (This is where I wonder about "marrow." It's a nice word, but I think I'm lacking the insight to tell why you chose that word.)

    Mm, yeah, I just read it all again. I'm really fond of the final stanza. It's powerfully and expertly worded. Good work!

  • 16 years ago

    by Nebula

    Wow Mo. I always say a Poem is great when I sit up and read it a few times to make sure I got it all in... Very powerful and gets straight to the point, and makes it...

  • 16 years ago

    by Cindy

    What a intense spine chilling piece. Excellent job! Imagery and word choices are awesome. You have painted quite a vision for the minds eye.
    Take Care Cindy