Happiness is just a word to me

Happiness is just a word to me
its not even real
if happy did exist
the wounds on my heart would heal

sad or depressed
is all I've ever known
yet no one knows it
cuz my feeling i have not shown

i wipe away the tears
and hide behind a mask
to me being happy
is just an impossible task

i bleed the pain away
but it always returns
i have a knife stabbed through my heart
and the pain will always burn

i know the reason i never smile
i know why i need this knife
i cant control my weakness
i desperately need you in my life