My Own Demise

Whats done is done and can never be undone.

How I screwed up and have to live with it.

I won't show how weak I have become but everything about me is broken, shattered, torn apart, bleeding, hurting and so much more I can't bare it anymore.

My heart hurts with every beat.

Beat by Beat a part of me dies never to come back alive.

For if this is so it is my own doing my own demise and I accepted it knowing that I'll never be the same.

For every passing day I build a wall to contain my pain but every time she's in my mind my wall crumbles inside me.

How I never knew so much pain.

For I have come to the realization that I pushed her away the way i hurt her the hateful words I said how I rushed her into things she was not ready for I brought this on to myself.

I could never forgive myself foe what I have done and I will live with it.

I never meant to break you make you cry, have you crumble apart , or for you to quit in life.

All I ask is for you to hold your head up high be that strong person I fell in love with, never show your weakness never give up be all that you are and so much more.

I can take the pain the sorrow the sadness and the sins we have done.

But please save yourself I don't want you to be like me.

If you ever cared or loved me you'll know what I mean I don't want to see you fall for I have fallen long ago.

I'm stronger than you i can take the pain for when the day comes I will take all the blame.