I am so confused right now torn between my self and my self . It as if I am fighting with the inner being of my very soul. Aren't these two forces supposed to be in harmony right now? Aren't you supposed to know exactly what you want and why you want it. But I dint feel that. Its as if I am in a continuous maze trying to find my way out but every time I see the path so that I can escape an obstacle pops up and it takes me right back in circles. Like a dream in which you keep falling and falling and you don't know when you are going to stop. You are so anxious, about this and about that. And the smallest bit of light that you do see is what gives you hope. This is what we do. We fall from day to day hoping that in some way we can see the light somewhere hoping that we will have a sign that everything is going to be OK. Hoping that someone will catch us. But just when you least expect it that light is overcome by darkness. A darkness that consumes every part of your soul. Every part if your heart, Until there is nothing left of you, nothing left to give to anyone. Why do people stay alone. In this realm of unknown desire.
What is it like to wander
in a realm of unknown desire
A place that is dark and cold
craving love but nothing transpires
What is it like to be
in a realm of unknown desire
A place where you crave passion
brining you down instead of higher and higher
What is it like to live
in a realm of unknown desire
A pressure that comes upon you
squeezing you ever tighter and tighter
This realm of unknown desire
I know what it is like to wander
Why know one else seems to care,
about these feelings that Ive pondered
This realm of unknown desire
I know what it is like to be
A place where no soul inhabits
and you they cannot see
I hate this place, this forbidden place
this realm of unknown desire
BLAZING burning in me
an unbearable feeling being in this FIRE
By being in this realm of unknown desire you think that you at times have everything figured out but really you dont you dont know your ass from a whole in the ground
I thought that I knew.. I really thought that I knew Didnt I. Isnt love supposed to be full of joy and full of laughter, full of people that you know and that you can all together go through good and bad times together. Sadly mistaken though by many is the fact that love is supposed to be this marvelous universal feeling that we all want. But can one really describe love
Love is pain, love is heartache, love is spending nights crying for something that you will never have. Love is loving someone more than you can express not some superficial non verbal meaning of expression. However something that you TRULY cant explain. Something that comes upon you and rushes in on you like a tidal wave, absolutely no end to how massive, how gigantic it is. You cant see where it begins and where it ends and then right when you least expect it. SLAM!!!!!!!!! You feel it. Its in your chest. It in your stomach. Its all around you over taking your ever fiber. Like a puppet on a string you have no say no control over what you think what you say and certainly no control over what you do. No since of reasoning just pure instinct that drives you to love so furiously. And nothing can stand in your way no obstacle to big. Like the great Sampson of ancient bible times. He had no equal he was the strongest man alive. Now... Ever feel this feeling .. I know... I know what it is like to have this feeling. And as pleasant as it sounds. I have experienced this, what I like to call a Pain of 1000 knives
This pain... This pain
Once again I have this pain
a burning in my soul
The agony that I feel
something I cant control
The longing to have a companion
who truly understands me
Who knows my inner being
my very soul they can see
Who will make me laugh like a kid
and truly enjoy her company
Well always grow together and in her heart
I build my house and have occupancy
Like a journey that is long and rough
we will have our mountains to climb
But nothing will be to great Using our heads together smoothly through them we will rise
But until then I have this pain
of wanting a dear sweet lover
Who will TRULY take the time to understand me
who will cause me to never love another.
In this "Realm of Unknown Desire"
With "This Pain" this blazing fire
The only question im left with right now
Is will I ever truly love someone if yes then tell me how?
