The Ashes of my Lonely Existence

I sit in my room wallowing in self pity.
My thoughts only of you.
We are separated by ten feet and a lifetime.
How could you not know?
You must know.

I sit in my room longing for a day that will never be.
My dreams only of you.
We are together and the world is new.
How could this not be?
Why is it so?

I sit in my room tormented by the thought of another.
His name is my name.
You always call be something else, maybe to ease the pain.
Is it a sign?
Could it be true?

Forbidden love bears a fruit all its own.
It smells so sweet, but is bitter and poisonous.
I have grown this fruit and nurtured it in the garden of my mind.
I didn’t plant the seed. I discovered it long after it took root.
Why do I do this to myself?

So, I sit in my room waiting for you to pass by my open door.
You smile. My heart burns.
I am left with nothing but the ashes of my lonely existence.
Can’t you see?
I love you.