Lyrical Poison

by Crystal Gaze   Oct 15, 2007


Lyrical Poison.
By:Elaine .C.

These voices echo in my mind
telling me all sorts of lies
no matter how hard I try
I can't silence these lyrical cries.

Each come with a knife
all leave a jagged slice
my soul is battered
my heart soon to be broken?

They fester painfully
until an unstoppable infection spreads
and then I loose everything
sadly I loose you too

But what now?
will this infection grow more?
or will it be cured?
and our love returned?

Somehow I doubt this will come to be
I'm withering, drowning in a doubt filled sea
the voices still echo in my mind,
as there lyrical poison slowly takes my life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you read this a certain way(witch im sure most of you will) the flow is cliched in someparts.
I wrote this in less than ten minutes, in my english class, so it was sorta spurt of the moment.
Please Vote and Comment.

Thanks,
--Elly.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Karl Wild GG23

    I don't think the flow was to bad, if the reader actually takes there time with the poem and pauses at the correct times it's fine. Once again your imagery and word choice were outstanding and the last line of this poem was breathtaking 5/5 GG23

  • 16 years ago

    by Ashley

    Each come with a knife
    all leave a jagged slice
    my soul is battered
    my heart soon to be broken?

    my favorite part 5/5

  • This was a good poem, I felt every emotion coming out of it. But there's something wrong with it, that I can't get my eye on it. Good job though. 4/5

    <mOnStRiTo'S pRiNcEsS>

  • 16 years ago

    by Tammie

    The beginning was so good, and then it kind of twindled down from there. This isn't the best of the three I've read, but as you said you wrote it quickly. The emotion is clear, which is a plus, and your vocab is still good. I enjoyed this, but with the differing rhyme in each stanza, it threw me off. Other than that it was good. :]
    Overall, 4/5

    Tammie

  • 16 years ago

    by Illusion

    I liked it.
    the first and last stanza are awesome.
    keep it up
    5/5

    please dont forget to RRC my pems
    poem1:reason
    poem2:deaf dumb blind

    REGARDS
    MILESTONE