Comments : Lies

  • 16 years ago

    by Fsams

    So lovely and mounful poem. I like the way you describe your feelings and the story is very interesting :) 5/5

    Tc
    Fsams

  • 16 years ago

    by JustKristina

    This one is pretty good has a strong message and it tells the truth... it was very easy to relate to but some of the rhyming i didnt' like.. i'm sorry.. but overall great!

  • 16 years ago

    by Idiosyncratic

    Same comment as the other poems; work on vocabulary.

    This poem is especially easy to relate to. You got the point across particularly well.. great work!

  • 16 years ago

    by awww

    So it's a song.. i bet if i hear it, it would move me much more.. i agree with the message of your poem.. lies may sound good but will hurt you in the long run.. i hope you're ok now.. lets just look forward to the future.. good write.. simple and true

    ~angel~

  • 16 years ago

    by Sweet lig

    Yes this one is true,, i can relate it actually. based w/my experienced so i truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart. keep in writing and god bless5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Blissful

    The emotions were real and raw here which made it easy to relate too. I do thing you repeated yourself many times throughout the poem which threw off the flow. For example,

    "You portrayed me as irreplaceable
    Nothing other than one of a kind"
    ^these both sentences mean the same thing, in different words.

  • 16 years ago

    by Hurtingsoul

    This is a really good poem no doubt. jus one thing maybe you could improve on your flow just a bit. overall great job 5/5
    Take Care
    xHSx

  • 16 years ago

    by Eri

    OH wow This Is reallly goood!

  • 16 years ago

    by Nix

    Except first three stanzas this poem was amazing. I really enjoyed in it, it is very original and you expressed emotions on truly superb way. Good topic too, very deep and personal piece. You described twisted feelings on simply beautiful way. Well done!

  • 16 years ago

    by Crystal Gaze

    A good write.
    I think the begining could be stronger, it seems you were struggling with rymthes and it through off the flow.However the ending was just amazing, I really liked how you turned it around. It was very powerful, and the flow was great.

    Well done,
    --Elly.

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    I really liked how you said:

    so she said. or so she told me.. it put a lot of strength behind it.. i think you should have done that to more of the stanzas..

    but other than that it was amazing.. the rhyimng.. the flow ..

    great job

    5/5

  • 16 years ago

    by Brittney Follett

    I really liked how you said:

    so she said. or so she told me.. it put a lot of strength behind it.. i think you should have done that to more of the stanzas..

    but other than that it was amazing.. the rhyimng.. the flow ..

    great job

    5/5