The Unheard Story

by XxbrokenheartedxX   Oct 24, 2007


Unheard story
secret whispers
mysterious glances
little children staring
people just watching
the small body at the top
pacing the ground
occasionally looking over
at the gathering crowd
looking up to the sky
the small body sits on the edge
and swings her legs
suddenly she throws herself down
a chorus of gasps and screams
as the crumpled body lands
blood trickles slowly
out of her crushed head
front page news
in the paper the next day
but she never said
what she wanted to say
this young girl had jumped
from the top floor
onto the hard surface
of the pavement below
many flowers lay close
to the spot where she died
a young girl was not heard
so she commited suicide!!!

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Teria

    "a chorus of gasps and screams"
    ^^ that's an amazing line, hun. I loved how you used 'chorus' instead of noise and blahblahblah.

    a few minor things to fix;
    herslef= herself.
    and.
    you have 'it`s front page news'
    ^^ I would, personally, take out the 'it`s' because it doesn't quite make sense, hun.

    I gave you a 5|5 on this poem, because I did like it. It could have been better in stanza form, but it's amazing. Don't take this the wrong way, I'm only voicing my thoughts and opinoins.

    It was amazing, though.
    Which is why it got a 5|5

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