Pasttime Scars

Scares of the past
screaming at me like a blast
of Eminem lyrics in my head
sleeping on the floor tonight so cold and lonely
your not in my life i dont think you even know me
if you do why can't you show me prove you care
all you ever did was get me this stupid teddy-bear.
You missed your chance to make things right
every time I tried it ended in a fight
every single night i was left to sit up crying
wondering when it would come to an end.
Now you say you miss me
you call me crying
I feel like showing you how i feel
but i won't be like you i wont destroy what i can't heal.
You have destroyed me
emotionally, scarred for life
Yes they heal but when will they ever dissapear?

NEVER....scares of the past stuck in my head
looking at my arms watching the tears mix with blood
makes me feel like there's been a flood
i realize i got deeper with every mark i made
not even trying to clean it I'd rather let it fade
like the way you will right out of my mind.
In time i hope i forget but i think i need help there
walking around without scars my, arms finally bear
maybe when i grow up and leave you behind
i can be a better parent show my son/daughter im kind
never talk to them about you...your mine
i keep you to myself to save others from knowing me
and how i feel
they will never know my pain that won't heal

Mom....I HATE YOU....never there for me not once
just feel cold and lonely asleep on the floor
my only place i can adore......
one place you arent at.....my dreams...exactly what keeps me going is dreams that life isnt dim will keep going thick or thin living life to the fullest i can see myself with a grin i know i can find someone in my life who cares but it will take time to heal and feel real again like a kid again a kid with both parents...now i still have both but live with 1 glad its not you ma im ashamed to be your son.

a poem made expressing me no lies involved
it has rhymes here and there but not everywhere oh well
just glad you read it thats all i need is for someone to read
this poem is really just something i cant stop thinking about and needed to say in some way and this is best i could do without planning it out this was right of the top of my head...