Pull The Trigger

Icy Cold metal
To my forehead
Let it be over
Let me be dead

I feel so useless
Can I do it?
I hope I can
Let's get down to it

I load the bullets
One by one
My hand is shaking
As I raise the gun

I said good-bye
The day before
I'll miss everyone
I hope you'll miss me more

Bang! It's loud
Echoing in the hall
I see blackness
And I feel the fall

I hear someone running
Screaming my name
It's my best friend
I can't believe she came

She tries to stop the bleeding
But it's coming too fast
She's crying so hard
She knows I won't last

I'm losing myself
I can't feel my arms
'Oh my god!' the paramedic
Cries out in alarm.

It seems so wrong
But I open my eyes
I've been out for days
And my mom silently cries

'Why did you do it,' they say
'I thought you were fine'
It's been coming forever,
It felt like the right time

I'm on medication
And feeling great
I don't want to die
And my fears finally abate