Anxiety disorder

My hands are shaking,
my nerves are pulsing,
my heart is beating rapid,
i am sweating,
i am freaking,
i am weakening,
i am scared everytime i end up like this,
i live with the fear,
every day of my life,
i want to slice in the knife,
but i dont want to go there,
i hardly ever go out,
never have fun,
stay in my room,
away from the sun,
painting all the time,
with sorrow in my mind,
how am i going to live my life???