Oh October 31st

Oh October 31st
This all hollow's eve....
I pass a little deceit around.
An excuse for bloodshot eyes.
I wish it were my head that was bloodshot
For there to be red running down those windows..
Put down my things and rush to the bathroom
That tub of water,
That voice in my ear,
I hate her, for everything she is not.
But she is a link to him...to my angel
The tears drip from me,
Like the rushing water, into the vessel before,
Too torrid, for my delicate skin,
Though I can't discipline, my arms
Or hands to adjust the temperature,
I lift my fingers, one by one in a graceful manner.
for the circlar beads, to make circlar patterns
and tear through the water like he tore through me.
My movements are jagged and broken
My attention fixated on no one thing.
My eyes don't dart, they don't move at all.
Just remembering the seconds before,
As your face contorted
And you became a stranger,
With whom I was in involvement
And my tears mix with my bath
I just want you to get home,
So I can hear your voice.
I touch my neck,
It seems to be sore
I can still feel your hands around it
And the tingling numbness they brought.
As you squeezed the oxygen from me
Flashes of you veering off the road.
As your body slumped over the steering wheel
In raging fits of tears, and I do the same,
Against the cold and fogged window
I can't remember the scenery we passed by
Though we passed by it so slowly
Forty five minutes for a trip that only last twenty..
Oh the webs we wond, tangled and tripped.
We fought our way through.
Darling, theres no doubt who I want to be with
I don�¢??t have to think it through
Though you say youre quite uncertain.
That pinches at my soul.
See I began to plan.
The life that I was promised,
The one where you stood by me.
And I was the one for you..
Now this talk of uncertainity
And finding someone new.
Makes my insides take a hold of me.
What I wouldn't do to end this existence,
You tell me to sleep and so I sleep,
You tell me to rest and so I rest,
Though no rest comes to me tonight.

And November 1st
A day of no significance
To no one of than me
As the cold sets into my bones.
I shake with the chill,
Though it can't phase me
My words are locked inside,
No escape for them to flow
Other than in poetic verse,
From my bloody fingertips.
Prick it, and bleed it, onto crisp paper.
My eyes burn with the sensation of tears.
And the lids are puffed and swollen
My stomach knows no hunger
Though its been hours since I last ate.
And I want no food to touch my mouth..
I have to force drink upon myself,
For I know I can't fight my thirst
I fight my sleep, to keep myself alert.
Oh, my body hurts with every breath and move.
Forehead hot with fever, no make up graces my face.
"c'est ca que"
a lie for the stares that fall upon me,
the have no knowledge of the 12 hours before
the 8:20 am these ears hear nothing
and what does pierce them,
they wish it had not
for the tears have stopped physically,
though inside the still fall
I can�¢??t imagine, living without you by me.
Though this may be how the story goes.
Sitting infront of a shaggy laptop,
For fifteen minutes of my finger teasing the keys.
Not an sound comes from me since I arrived at
7:50 this morning.
And the songs that filled my head on the trip here.
Confession in forms,
I think you deserve much better than me...
The feeling leaves my legs
With no hope of it returning
A stiffness that I've become a custom to..
"One more day
One more time
One more sunset, maybe Id be satisfied
But then again
I know what it would do
Leave me wishing still, for one more day with you"