Loves Torture Hole

I'm stuck in loves torture hole
theres no way to escape
every minute with him
is a moment i wanna take

my mind wants to be brave
but inside I'm too weak
instead of holding in the hurt
my eyes tend to leak

I'll come back to him
without a hesitant doubt
no matter how hard he hits
or how loud he shouts

he knows how to control
until I'm a rug under his feet
his words ring like a tune
they echo and repeat

he loves me, he doesn't
oh what do i know
i lost my soul to him
way long ago

it seems on my way to loving him
my eyes just couldn't see
my identity fading away
i lost who i used to be

i used to be someone
that liked what she saw
now i cant look in the mirror
without wanting to withdraw

it'll take a bottle of pills
and a gun to my head
to rid all the damage
for this misery to shed

or maybe ill just keep dreaming
of the way things used to be
when love wasn't something that hurt
and it was ok just being me