Chasing Yesterday

I have so many things drowning in my mind.
I want to cry but my tears won't save them.
Memories will no longer be sweet if they're stiff and blue.
I want to keep them struggling so that they don't sink
into oblivion in my head
and out of my blue blue eyes.
They're the ones that chased the sun in hopes of catching yesterday.
There is no room for any more tomorrows,
not if tomorrow is a promise that you can't keep.

My icy unsaid words keep you up at night,
and the thought of their chilling meaning in your ear
can never tell you truthfully how cold my hand is
without yours there to hold it.
I want to say I feel empty inside,
but emptiness is too long of a word to describe
this feeling of nothingness.
So I'll pretend and say that I feel obsolete and alone.
Don't try and say that I'm wrong.
That there will always be someone there for me.
It won't be you.
And nobody will ever be good enough.

Lying was never so easy for you to do.
Maybe that's why it was so hard to say goodbye.
Because I knew you had hidden truths inside you somewhere.
All I had to do was find them.
I didn't want to give up on you just yet.
But it's so easy to second guess all the things you say.
I want to hold you down and whisper ever so softly
every story you forgot to tell.
I knew about them all along.

Hold still, dear, this won't hurt a bit.

Can you see the room spinning?
It's out of your control.
My memories are slowly giving up.
You're slipping from my grasp.
I don't want to lose you for the second time.
You have a charade I can see right through,
and darkness could kill you in an instant.
That's why I'm chasing yesterday,
in hopes that night will never come.
I don't want to be proved right.