What I have become

It's killing me to see what I have become compared to what I've been.
Life has a unique talent for bringing out the absolute best or worst of us all.
I have fought for so long to be a person people would respect and admire.
Certain events however led me down a different path.
One most of all an utter semblance of being alone and consumed by a world of darkness.
It's funny and oh so ironic that the thing I seem to long for is what I fear the most.
To love and be loved by any one person or group of people.
I was once told that I am in love with love, but if that is so then why do I fear any form of it?
I'm so totally alone now because of what I have become what they all made me.
However what I've come to realize is that I am not what they made me I am what I choose to be.
So it's time now for me to stop being what you all made me and start being who and what I desire to be.