ADDICTED

I don't know why,
Trying to let go of you,
Wanting to wash you away from my heart,
Every time I say I will,
I lose you at that step,
Tear may trickle down my numb face,
Faint feeling surrounds me again,
Winds caring no less,

I still harden my heart,
Every step hits me with truth,
Truth hits me with pain,
Closing my eyes,
Wish the shooting star,
Wish all this was a dream,
Wish my life was a dream,

I take a few steps away from you,
With the same cold face towards life,
Silence broken out ,
Splintering the layers away,
turning to dust, along with my memories,

Never mattered to me,
whether you look to me or away,
never mattered ,
if you were in love with me or not,
never mattered ,
you say anything to me or not,
because I knew you were there,
and I'll make it through,

It feels so hard to walk away,
from what I wish,
of what I love more,
now I know you were just a dream,
I fell in love with, again and again,
Now even fear to close my eyes,
Fear ever to dream again,
I know that you will be there,
There to pull me back into me again,

Tired of my life,
I closed my eyes to rest forever,
Ignoring my dreams,
Still breaking through,
You tear me part,
Falling in love with you again,

The few steps I took forward,
Just to lose you,
Now I take many more backwards,
Just to be with you,
Landing at that same line I started from,
Truth lies in front of me,
Mind accepts the fact,
Heart rejects it more,
I want to lose her,
but I want her more..