Afraid of Death

I could tell you I'm happy you found her,
But that would be a lie.
I could laugh at all your jokes,
But then I'd go home and cry.
Sometimes you can be so blind
Sometimes you don't even see
That everything you said in the end
Actually got to me
I believed every lie that you ever told
I took in every word
But when you told me you love her?
I couldn't believe you would
Still, time passes
In heartbeats and catches of breath
Still I don't try to kill myself
But that's cause I'm afraid of death.