My past.

8:21 PM - My past!
Category: Writing and Poetry

I sit here wondering if we'll ever see eachother again,
I sit here wondering why do i still care,
After all that happend you're still on my mind everyday,
I find that i hate my past but love it at the same time,
I find that i still struggle with my past,
And why i can't get over what happen between us,
Why,when I know i've moved on and let go,
why, can't I just forget about you,
forget about how much you were there for me,
And the couple memories we did make,
I sit here wondering will I ever forget you?
I sit here wondering If I'll ever stop caring about you,
I find that the past is what made me into who i am right now,
I find that what i leanred being friends with you,
I carry it with me every day,and make sure i don't do it ever again,
That's my fear,
but I'm trying to get past that,
It's now in the past and that's where it should stay,
But i can't seem to open up to anyone else,
My heart won't let me,
My past is a part of my life i loved,but hated at the same time,
Part of me wants to change it ,but then again i don't.
I'm so torn between two things,
Our friendship wasent that great,
but what i loved about is that,
I had someone who i could rely on,
tell my secrets to,and ask for advice,
have someone to lean on when i felt down,
You always seemed willing to help me out,in anyway,
But It was just all to complicated in a way,
I can't really describe how our friendship was,
Now when i think about it i feel yucky inside,
I guess becouse I now see all the flaws in it,
and hate that i messed things up,
I'm sorry my friend,
I think about you everyday,
and still cry becouse i wish i could of fixed things sooner.