Icy eyes

He said, oh my you're beautiful
on the boat that night
i was tripping
they had given me the pill
we'd halved it
and swallowed it with a shared kiss.
you took my hand
i touched your cheek.
from the girl who hates love
i found it hard to speak.
it was so long ago now it feels
that night on the water
our conversations
the laughter.

you died hating me
you died being someone i didnt know
you cursed my name to your bestfriends
said i played you.

its tearing me apart
feels like someones standing on my chest
you're ashes live in the wind
the guilt is eating my breath
i gasp i bleed
i cry i need.
he screamed at me at your wake
he told me you hated me
i'd broken your heart...

the car sliced through your body
it took your breath away...
icy eyes...
the sight of your casket made me cry...

in your bed the day earlier
this sends me shivering
i made no attempt to reconcile with you
its to late now
you're snoring will no longer keep me awake

i have no words
my tongue is glued to the roof of my mouth.
i remember our memories
our nights...
it wasnt your time
EVERYTHING DOES NOT HAPPEN FOR A REASON!!

you're dead and i cant handle it...

rest in peace jacko