How in the hell'd we get here

Tearing me from the inside out.
cant deal with this doubt
nothing but the thoughts in my mind to keep me from going crazy
the days so long and the nights oh so hazy

heart pounding out of my chest
blood boiling and I'm sure you can guess
as a tear silently slides down my cheek
trust worthy friends is all i seek

behind my back they go
thinking i would never know
they steal you away from me
your shadow in the distance is all i see,.

so Farr away you seem to be
wondering if you knew you were everything to me
in such short time my heart did grow
for someone who seemed so true.
i thought we could last.

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in a time so hard for me in this life
my heart was cloudy and filed with strife
couldn't see through my past to get to my future
all i had was the memories holding me back
i wanted to tell you. i want you to know
that i care so much but my heart did find
that i cant let you in so fast due to my past.
of all the heartaches my heart did learn
not to get to attached until my soul did turn
back from the doubt and back from the pain
feels like I'm always caught in the rain