Wow! You created so creative rhythm in this one. Absolutely fantastic job, you used powerful wording and express your emotions on truly breath-taking way. All poem is simply wow!
I am totally impressed with your writing, keep up, you always inspire me and this piece is mind-blowing.
I enjoyed in every line!

Ohh that was unique style>> i was impress the how u really make ur style... coz seems so different to other poems that i had been read before! the rhyme and the structure was kinda strong piece of emotion... even the message was absolutely powerful... keep it up 5/5

well done

I agree that the content is so different, that i just cant stop reading. i love it, its so moving and captures so many feelings and thoughts. Your writing is powerful, strong and smart.

xx
Taegan Emily

Well, this poem was just amazing. I love the way you wrote it and I loved the feeling coming out of it. The image I got from this seemed a bit cold, but I loved it. It was very well written. Great job! 5/5

.:CiNdY:.

It's really cool, the way you melded these two forms together so nicely. Again, super poem. I like it a lot.

The imagery in every one of your pieces is so vivid and just beautiful. This one was so exception.

"Excuses build a church of molten lies that echo
between flashing car crashes inside the mind;
imagination's infected with deathly shimmers
so I promise I won't force it this time-"

I could imagine that clealy in my mind and the emotions were so real. Well done, you have true talent. *5/5*

Once again fantastic, evocative use of imagery while preserving an interesting progression of emotive tale.

Excellent again. I'm going to have to add you to my favourites, I see.

I loved this poem. It struck me in a certain way. I fell that way sometimes. Excellent word choice. I loved it.

5/5. Nice work.

Wow! enough said

Wow. I loved how you use the universes 'creations' [sun,moon,volcaones,etc.] as descriptions. This poem was amazing, probably one of my favorites of the day. xD
The flow was great, the meaning was amazing, along with the vocabulary [onceagain].

Keep it up, darling.
5/5

"Efface surface of troublesome blizzards,
(effects for emotions cause volcanic eruptions)"

^^ I absolutely love this opening, you manage to portray so much emotion and depth coupled with incredibly imagery in these starting lines that I'm instantly hooked and can't wait to continue with the piece.

The brackets in the second line add for a powerful effect.

"volume's beating inside the hive
while the telegraphs deliver fresh, catastrophic notes."

^^ Now this..THIS is beautiful. I find these two lines to be filled with so much melancholy yet simutaneously beautifully written, filled with so much beauty and grace.

"oh
the sun
is spilling
dark
dark
illusions...
the world's
crumbling."

^^ This is my favouriote part to this piece. So incredibly intense and hard hitting and filled with so much meaning and depth that at times it's almost overwhelming for the reader. I adore this stanza.

"Excuses build a church of molten lies that echo
between flashing car crashes inside the mind;"

^^Ooohhhh the imagery! I frikken love the imagery in these two lines, it creates such stunning and striking visuals in my mind.

"imagination's infected with deathly shimmers
so I promise I won't force it this time-"

^^ I'm not to sure about the last line here. I find the rest of this piece to be incredibly strong and intense but for some reason the last line seems to be a little weaker for me.

"oh,
the moon
is bleeding
scarlet,
scarlet
tears...
the world's
sleeping. "

^^ What a BEAUTIFUL closing stanza here! This is just fantastic, such a stunning and hard hitting ending that it is certainly something that will stay with the reader for a while.

I love this piece. The imagery is fantastic, your flow is flawless, absolutely impeccable, the words just fall right of my tongue and the depth and emotion you placed in this piece is outstanding.

You outdid yourself with this piece, be proud!

Hey, you asked me to comment this a while ago, sorry about the late reply.

Anyway i think this is quite good, structured in a way ive never seen before and i think it was quite effective, good job.