Nhrueni (Misery)

I lay here and wonder:
Should I stay, should I go?
As the darkness surrounds me,
I fear I'll never know.

The clock strikes twelve,
I raise the blade
If only to escape
From this place I have made.

Her face appears one last time,
Begging me to end my suicidal rhyme.
I lower it as tears stream down my cheeks,
Once again she has saved me from being weak.

Yet when I reach for her,
My hand is wrenched aside.
I try and I try,
Hard as I might,
But still God won't let her be mine.

I raise my eyes to the heavens,
Asking him why this must happen to me.
As I await the answer I sit alone,
Drowning in an endless sea.

So I watch from a distance,
Even though she's sitting next to me.
I lower my head and sigh one last time,
Knowing we will never be.