Recovery?

Looking at my bottle,
I'm not sure what to think,
But I don't care tonight,
Because I feel alright,
After every drink.

That sweet kiss,
As it passes my lips,
Though I know how bad this could be,
Whose to say I'm not happy again,
Seeing my life go down the drain,
At least that this is me.

If this bottle makes me smile,
Then it's not a waste of time,
I'll forget tomorrow,
And drown my sorrows,
With this choice of mine.

I shouldn't really do this now,
Considering I'm not allowed,
Should just stare at it all night,
Try to reach their goal,
And detox my soul,
But would that really make things right?

So I'll do it for the thrill,
Knowing what my actions might entail,
I'll still enjoy seeing,
This 'life' I'm leading,
Falling down the pail.